Malls were Created to Test my Patience
Ok.I'll admit it. I'm a Mall-aphobic. This strange fear falls right between my fear of shaking bridges and my fear of becoming a brunette.
How did I come across the highly un-feminine fear? THis falls into the category of my many un-answered questions like, "how much wood does a woodchuck chuck?" so frankly,I have no clue. First of all, I shop like a guy. I go in, grab it, NEVER try it on, pay, and leave. This makes shopping with my mom and Xiaoning very stressful. They are both mall people-WHICH I RESPECT, I just don't share the same love.
So here's what happens to me at malls:
*Step one- I start out very awkardly. I walk with the people who enjoy mall-shopping and act like I know what I'm doing.
**Step two- I start to find myself finding the funny things about malls and making up a blog in my head about how funny things at the mall are. For example: there was a kiosk called "Retro plug-and-play." The thing that I loved about this was that they were games that I played as a kid like Duck Hunt on the old Super Nintendos, Mario Kart on N64, and pong (no joke.)
***Step three- I often find myself gravitating toward bookstores and technology shops, loving what these shops have to offer (just lose me in Barnes and Nobels, I'll be fine) also somewhat hoping that I don't see anyone that I know so I can get out of there sooner. Although, it was a pleasant to see KATE Z. all the way from Madison looking at ginormous universal remotes.
****Step four- I begin to notice people looking at me. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I feel like they're all noticing at me. I start to get cranky with the people I'm with to GET ME OUT OF THERE so I don't draw attention to myself. I find a place to sit down, and if someone starts talking to me, I get nervous and rude.
*****Step five- I get dizzy from looking at all of the shops and colors. I find it hard to breath (I'm not making this up) and nearly go into panic attacks (ok, so now I'm exaggerating). I rush out of the mall to get some fresh air.
So that's what four hours in the mall does to me. I try not to make a habit out of it.
How did I come across the highly un-feminine fear? THis falls into the category of my many un-answered questions like, "how much wood does a woodchuck chuck?" so frankly,I have no clue. First of all, I shop like a guy. I go in, grab it, NEVER try it on, pay, and leave. This makes shopping with my mom and Xiaoning very stressful. They are both mall people-WHICH I RESPECT, I just don't share the same love.
So here's what happens to me at malls:
*Step one- I start out very awkardly. I walk with the people who enjoy mall-shopping and act like I know what I'm doing.
**Step two- I start to find myself finding the funny things about malls and making up a blog in my head about how funny things at the mall are. For example: there was a kiosk called "Retro plug-and-play." The thing that I loved about this was that they were games that I played as a kid like Duck Hunt on the old Super Nintendos, Mario Kart on N64, and pong (no joke.)
***Step three- I often find myself gravitating toward bookstores and technology shops, loving what these shops have to offer (just lose me in Barnes and Nobels, I'll be fine) also somewhat hoping that I don't see anyone that I know so I can get out of there sooner. Although, it was a pleasant to see KATE Z. all the way from Madison looking at ginormous universal remotes.
****Step four- I begin to notice people looking at me. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I feel like they're all noticing at me. I start to get cranky with the people I'm with to GET ME OUT OF THERE so I don't draw attention to myself. I find a place to sit down, and if someone starts talking to me, I get nervous and rude.
*****Step five- I get dizzy from looking at all of the shops and colors. I find it hard to breath (I'm not making this up) and nearly go into panic attacks (ok, so now I'm exaggerating). I rush out of the mall to get some fresh air.
So that's what four hours in the mall does to me. I try not to make a habit out of it.
posted by Bekah at
4:02 PM
4 Comments:
Here we have a 3 story mall called the big mall and another mall called the small mall and there's NOTHING small about it. Try doing that with three kids. You would probably die :) I love that you are so open with your fear though. The first step is admitting it. Love ya :)
By
Sarah, at Monday, October 23, 2006 12:20:00 AM
I'm with you. I used to work in a mall... man what a madhouse. I hate malls esp. at Christmas. I'm really happy that our local Borders, Barnes and Noble and Old Navy are stand alone stores with close parking... in and out my friend!
Let's hang out soon.
By
Jenn Swift, at Monday, October 23, 2006 12:31:00 PM
we should go shopping at the mall sometime!LOL! so i guess you didin't have a lot of fun when you guess went to the mall! I can understand being at the mall for 4 hours could be a little long for me to eventhough i love to shop! see ya later luv Ya!
By
miss wide bottum, at Monday, October 23, 2006 1:35:00 PM
thanks for the shout out. and also, i want to commend you for the use of the word ginormous. that remote was huge. and also, thanks for still respecting me after i pretended to mute people in the store with it, before i knew you were watching.
By
kate debaene, at Thursday, October 26, 2006 6:49:00 PM
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